Thursday, February 4, 2016

Glasses

"Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."
-John 6:35

"Do you like glasses?"

I had gotten up late this morning, and instead of showering I made breakfast for the kids, stuffed my nightgown into yoga pants, put a hat over my crazy bedhead, threw on my winter coat and walked them down to the bus stop bespectacled instead of wearing my usual contacts.

I was unprepared for the vulnerable question from the young girl sporting new, black, thick rimmed glasses with leopard print on the side.

I flashed back to my own beginnings with vision problems: moving up to the front of the classroom in second grade, then my nose inches from the chalkboard in order to see the math problem of the day.  Huge, pink glasses with very thick frames followed and have been my companion in ever changing styles ever since.  My eye doctor at my annual check up always gasps and says, "My dear, your eyes are horrible!  Bring your kids in when they turn four!"

Such is the blessing of genetic nearsightedness.

I knew that the girl wasn't really asking if I literally liked glasses.  She was asking, "Am I going to be ok?  Am I going to be too different from the kids in my class?  Will I adjust to this?"

Am I enough?

The human experience.  We all have a void, a hole in our heart asking that question.  We seek to fill it with perfectionism, performance, conformity...you name it.  If we aren't perfect,  if we don't feel whole, then where can we turn?

In my own struggle with this question I printed off Scripture verses to cut out and frame for the windowsill over my sink later this morning.  John 6:35 beckoned, and made it's way into the frame.

"Whoever comes to me shall not hunger, shall never thirst."

In my own fragmented state, my search for meaning, my search for enough, I let these words wash over my soul.

I also thanked God for helping me see the vulnerability in the girl with glasses at the bus stop.  I thanked Him for filling me enough with compassionate words to speak to her.

"Yes," I had replied.  "I do like glasses.  I've been wearing them for a long time.  I really like yours.  The leopard print on the side is really cute." 

"Thanks," she said as the bus pulled up.

Am I enough?  That question had been temporarily answered for myself and for the girl with glasses.  But what if we need to know the "yes" of that question again, at our deepest heart level?

 "I, the LORD, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.
-Psalm 81:10




 


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