Saturday, November 7, 2015

Slowing the Torrent

"Time is a relentless river.  It rages on, a respecter of no one.  And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.  I can slow the torrent by being all here.  I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment."
-Ann Voskamp, "One Thousand Gifts"

I started my list of one thousand thanks last night.  I dug an old journal out of the nightstand drawer by my bed and began numbering the things that made me smile that day. 

I am not one to live in the moment.  I am a planner.  I live in the future.  The future is a happier mirage-it is where I am most productive, confident, the get-things-done kind of person.

But I realize I am missing out on so much of life in the present when I'm constantly thinking ahead.

So this listing for me is helping me to slow down and see the moments of joy God is giving.  I'm hoping it makes me less of a worrier, of a pusher, of one who just constantly go-go-goes until the end of life and finds I got things done, but have no richness in my relationships because of that.

Lying in bed this morning, I stared up at the ceiling fan and told God, "I don't want to do this to feel good.  I want to do this to know you."

And in that moment I felt the sweetness of His presence.  I'm inviting Him in with all this thanks.  I'm slowing down the fast pace of life.

Or am I really just seeing Him there for the first time?