Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Wifey Wednesday: Frumpalicious

"No matter your body type, every woman can look beautiful, and every woman can look put together. Every woman can take pride in herself. When you do this, your marriage improves overnight, because you become more confident in your body, and that reaps huge dividends."
-Fight the Frump: Get Dressed!

I've been sitting on this post for a while, mostly because it's a vulnerable topic for me.  I've always been a little frumpy.  I think there are a number of factors, including an inborn flaw.  As a little girl my mom once sent me back to my room to change for school when I had emerged wearing a horizontal striped shirt and a vertical striped skirt. I was just happy that the colors matched. I also grew up in a church where women weren't allowed to wear makeup, jewelry or pants.  You would think wearing all those skirts and dresses would develop a sense of style in me, but it didn't.  1 Peter 3:3-4 was pounded into us, as well as Proverbs 31:3 (I always get this song stuck in my head whenever I think of that verse!)  All great and very true verses, but I took them to the extreme.  I had up until recently been proud of the way I *didn't care* about my appearance.

I thought that not putting a huge amount of effort or thought into how I dressed or what my hair looked liked, etc. showed how much more I valued my spiritual life and my intellect.  Deep down, I truly believed that really smart girls don't obsess over appearance, so why bother?

Then I got married.  And had kids.  And got older.  I looked in the mirror one morning and didn't like what I was seeing, and it made me feel grumpy.  When I read the above quoted series in my Google reader, I knew it was time to make the effort to fight the frump.  So I got a haircut and some new clothes.  I started to try and get up early enough to do my hair.  I wore makeup if I left the house.  I tried to exercise at least 3 times a week.

And I felt better.  I felt more like a woman than a diaper changing, food making, housecleaning, discipline wielding machine. I treated my kids better.  And the best part was Hubs whistling at me one day when all I had done was belt a sweater I had normally let hang loose over my jeans.

I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn while fighting the frump, and to be honest I still allow myself more than a few days a week to not care.  I also still have huge hangups about spending money on clothes for myself (I think that's the thrifty Scot in me.)  But I'm taking small steps towards building a better wardrobe and taking better care of myself and it has reaped rewards in my family life and marriage, not to mention my own sanity.  I like myself more...and what husband doesn't find that attractive in a wife?  

So I encourage you to fight the frump with me.  Check out the Fight the Frump series here, and this fashion blog series has been instrumental in helping me build a wardrobe.  Happy frump fighting!


  1. Yay! I've struggled with the balance between 'looking nice' and 'obsessing over appearance' myself. I often feel like spending time and money on looking good is a waste, because I'm an active, outdoorsy person - I don't mind dirt on my knees and hair falling out of its braid! It's nice to remind oneself that being an active participant in life does not require giving up beauty treatments!

    My latest thing is nail polish, because it's an easy and inexpensive way to make me feel prettier, and if it chips I can just remove it - I don't have to worry about it like I would worry about ruining nice new clothes.

  2. I don't care for looking 'nice' or wasting my money on nice clothes or beauty products. It's pointless because I will just ruin the clothes or whatever I am wearing. I have too many animals and outdoor work and obligations. Further, I'm not out to impress anyone, nor do I care what others think of me. I have always believed that anyone who won't take me as I come is not worth my time to begin with. So, I wear whatever I want that's fast, comfortable, and hyper-utilitarian. Makeup and nail polish are out, as are any form of dresses, frilly or tight fitting clothing, or thin fabrics. I've *never* 'done' my hair and the last professional haircut I had was over a decade ago. I try to eat well and all, but that's for my long term health (and the health of my environment), not my appearance.

    I mean, I make a point to be fairly clean when I go out in public - I am not one of the smelly, crusty, manure-caked individuals that I sometimes encounter at work - but I don't think it matters whatsoever if I'm 'only' wearing a faded t-shirt and jeans. My money and my thoughts are just as worthwhile as anyone elses.

    I suppose I'm exceptionally fortunate to have a guy who doesn't care if I never shave my legs or if I'm covered in a full day's worth of boob-sweat.

    If all of that means I'm a failure as a woman, so be it. I've always been more of a 'man' anyway. To each his own I guess - you guys can definitely keep it!

  3. This post makes my heart sing Nicole! I just love it... and I'm right there with you so thanks for the reminder. I got to a point after the girls were born that I noticed I felt like crap if I dressed like crap. Who feels motivated in sweatpants? (Yoga pants, maybe, but only for workouts lol) So in the past year I have started to regularly paint my nails with bright colors, wear my fun clothes instead of my boring ones, accessorize with pretty scarves, and add eye-makeup to my usual (simple) makeup routine. The Mr. loves the results and so do I. All that combined with a more regular exercise routine, and I'm feeling the strongest, healthiest, and prettiest I have in a long time. I still have a mommy-tummy and I still have wrinkles. But I feel like I can conquer the world if I'm rocking a pair of high heels and skinny jeans instead of my sneakers and mom-jeans. So high-five, atta girl, and keep it up Momma! XOXO