Thursday, October 11, 2012

Guidance for the Journey

"Whenever the cloud was taken up from over the tabernacle, the people of Israel would set out...for the cloud of the Lord was on the tabernacle by day, and fire was in it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel throughout all their journeys."  -Exodus 40:36, 38

"Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of his praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip." -Psalm 66:8-9

It's been a rough week for me and it's far from over.  At 33 weeks I've been experiencing the worst insomnia yet in this pregnancy.  Hubs is feeling ill and has been extremely busy preparing for the three day fall fundraiser that started today at work.  Which means long hours for him and long hours for me at home with an active toddler while running on four or less hours of sleep these past few days.  Naps (or no naps), cutting out sugar and caffeine and limiting liquids at night have seemed to have no effect.  However, in the midst of all this physical exhaustion which almost always results in emotional exhaustion (at least for me!) I need to tell a story of God's faithfulness.

On Tuesday I was sitting down to read my Bible and finished up the book of Exodus.  I was struggling with discouragement, tiredness and a general feeling of panic concerning the future: how much life was going to change with another baby in the house, worry about Hubs' health during such a hectic time at work and if sufficient funds would be raised for the ministry, wondering if I would sleep tonight...all those general "what-if" worst scenarios!  While I read the last few verses of Exodus, the Holy Spirit really made verses 36-38 jump out at me.  I felt the Lord saying very clearly in my heart, "I led the Israelites through their journey to the Promised Land.  I will be leading you by my Spirit in your journey.  Even though the unknown and your current circumstances look scary right now, know that I am and will be with you."

That night I hardly slept.  But somehow the insomnia seemed different.  I wasn't frustrated or worried about anything.  Instead, I felt many promptings to pray for my family (especially Hubs) and for the busy season ahead of us.  When I finally feel asleep, I woke up with the hymn "God Will Take Care of You" running through my head and resolved to keep that at the forefront of my mind that day.  Last night I turned on a sermon and let it blare in my bedroom while Hubs was working late and had the best night's sleep I've had yet this week.  I'm still exhausted, but so thankful that God is showing Himself in the midst of my own anxieties and physical weaknesses.  I was reminded again of His faithfulness last night as I read Psalm 66.  Many verses in this psalm refer back to God's faithfulness to the Israelites in their journey.  I love how the psalmist converts them into praise and encourages others in knowing that as he cared for His chosen people, so He will care for us and "not let our feet slip."

Isn't God good?  I'm so thankful that in the midst of unpleasant circumstances He speaks and comforts His people, reminding us of His care for His people in the past and reassuring us of His care for us in the future.  It's what I will hang on to in these final weeks of pregnancy and other such seasons of anxiety and change.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

This Weekend's Musing

"Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega."
-Clyde Kilby, 10 Resolutions for Mental Health