"A Trophy Wife brags on her husband whenever she can to whoever will listen. She wants everyone to know that she made the best decision ever when it came to picking a partner. They might have problems or issues, but that’s not what she talks about with those outside their inner sanctum."
-Marie McKinney Oates, 5 Steps to Trophy Wife: Be a Wife He Brags About
This little tidbit is from an ebook Marie McKinney Oates, founder of The Nashville Marriage Studio, sent to me a while ago. It's a great little book with lots of good tips on how to be a wife any husband would be proud of. This is the last step in the book and a very good one.
It is so easy to pick out the flaws in our husbands, isn't it? It's so easy to bring those things up to our girlfriends and relatives. I think a lot of women assume that men can "take" criticism. Unfortunately, that's not true. Men have those nasty little voices inside of their heads too...Oates calls it "The Lizard Brain". That little voice tells him he is never good enough, smart enough, etc. etc. etc! Our complaints and criticisms (especially in public!) only serve to validate those voices.
So how can we move from complaining to boasting about our men? The most important step is to change the way we are thinking about him. We need to have some empathy and remember that he has that "Lizard Brain" inside of him too. Maybe he is trying to figure out a problem at work, or needs some time to relax and that is why he left his socks on the floor...not because he doesn't care about having a nice house. Maybe he's quiet at the dinner table because he is afraid any subject he brings up will bring a criticism from you. Instead of assuming the worst, let's assume the best about our men. When we start to do that in the privacy of our heads, it becomes a lot easier to brag about him in public.
So go ahead...take those first steps. Take it a bit further and notice one thing about your hubby that you can brag about to someone else today. And make sure he overhears you talking him up on the phone or sees your glowing status about him on Facebook or Twitter. It'll mean the world to him. I'd love to know the end results!
On that note: Bragging Rights time! My husband just finished producing, shooting and editing a series of videos interviewing the on air personalities at his workplace. Here's the first one....keep checking them out the rest of this week! He's so talented, yes?