Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Wifey Wednesday: It's O.K. to Ask!

"Ask for what you want in the relationship.  Ask because you believe.  Believe that you are married to someone who values you and has a desire to serve and love you."
-Marie Mckinney, Ask for What You Want, Nashville Marriage Studio Blog

I found this blog in the show notes for The Stupendous Marriage Show.  And I'm cringing a bit. The past few days have been filled with posts like that one (and this one.)

I think I'm starting to get the message here.  Don't be a doormat.  Don't play the martyr.  Tell your husband what you want in your marriage.  Don't expect him to read your mind.

Anyone else fall into that trap?  I know I have, especially in the early days of my marriage.  I think a lot of women expect their husbands or significant others to know their heart's desires. We see that in movies all the time: the hero who sweeps in and gives a woman exactly what she wants, when she wants it without ever having to ask...and all of life is one big fairy tale.  Or we've been disappointed so many times by our loved ones that we don't tell them what we need or what we want for fear of being disappointed again.  So we hold onto it all and eventually it becomes bitterness...or we forget what we ever wanted at all.

I can tell you from personal experience-that is not a fun way to live.  So you and I are going to learn to ask for what we need or want in our marriages, whether it's help with the dishes or a monthly date night.  And we are going to learn to trust our men, who at the core of their being really want to love us-they just aren't sure how to do it or don't see how we are feeling neglected in the relationship.

So I challenge you (and me!) to step up and ask for one thing that you need or want today.  Ask and trust your husband's desire to love you.


  1. Hi Nicole! Thanks for the link love :) And I love this post, especially the caution that we might forget we ever wanted something at all. So true. I'm looking forward to more Wifey Wednesdays!

  2. Oh, and it's Marie from Marriage Studio :)