Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wifey Wednesday: Filling the Holes

"It’s just what marriage is all about: you get to fill in the holes that he’s really bad at, and he fills in the holes that you’re really bad at."
-Shelia Wray Gregoire, tolovehonorandvacuum.com 
I've been inspired by this blogger to start a series she calls "Wifey Wednesday".  Shelia writes a post about marriage and invites people to also write about marriage on their blog and link back to hers.  So here's a first of a series in Wifey Wednesday!

Her post this week was about dressing your husband....and I had to laugh.  This week my husband finally admitted that he needed new shoes.  One pair he owns has a hole in the bottom and I think he bought them when we were dating (which would be over 3 years ago!)  Needless to say, my daughter and I may be heading out this afternoon to get him some new duds.  

What really inspired me in her post was the above quote.  It is a great reminder to me that I am not responsible to change my husband.  Instead, it is my job to pick up the slack at the things he is not great at and be appreciative of the things he does well.  An example:  My husband has more than once called me "the fun killer" in our marriage.  Most of the time he is only half kidding.  I have to admit that it is true.  I am a very goal oriented, task motivated person.  Fun is something I do after my to-do list is done.  Too much of that attitude can make me a martyr, and I start thinking, "Why doesn't he help me get anything done?  Look at all the stuff I'm doing/need to do, and there he is reading the Drudge Report!"  Instead, maybe it would be a better idea for me to take my cue from him when he comes home from work:  Stop, say hello, give him some space after a hectic work day and take some time to take a breather myself.  And, for once, maybe take him up on that suggestion to forget about the dishes and watch some random youtube video with him for 2 minutes.  After all, maybe that will help me shed that "fun killer" reputation and show him appreciation for how he "fills that hole" in my life!

1 comment:

  1. This is a great idea :)

    My guy and are are working on this ourselves - we take the time to verbally let each other know we appreciate each other and try to match our actions to that gratitude as well. In my case, I'm a halfhearted cook, so when he cooks almost every night I thank him! I'm working on doing the cleaning-up (which is one of his weaknesses) as an active thank-you a well... even when I feel like whining about his lack of cleaning skills (after all, cooking seems SO much easier... but he also takes care of our vehicles and tracks our finances a lot better than I do!). So far we've not had any major fights, and reflecting on how he shores up my weak points and how I can do similarly for him has made me a more grateful and giving partner in the relationship.

    ~ Dawn

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